About a quarter of a century back, I heard in Ahmedabad that hundreds of teenage boys and girls lived there together like man and wife without getting married. This system was known as Maitri-Karar. I was shocked, for many of them belonged to middle and upper middle class. I thought that it was a dangerous trend. Now, Maharashtra Government proposed to legislate 'live-in relationships' on October 8. Maharashtra Cabinet approved to amend section 125 of CrPC. As of now this section does not include 'live-in relationship'. As per the proposed amendment, legal definition of wife would also include a partner in live-in relationship. She would have legitimate rights of a wife, including right to alimony. This is based on Justice Malimath Committee report formed by the Central Government. It seems that neither the Malimath Committee nor the Maharashtra Government delved deeply into the subject, which touches core of the Indian way of life.

Marriage and family system are not any peripheral aspect of our national life. Barring metros, holding of hands and walking through streets by unmarried boys and girls or men and women is scoffed at. In metros, in the affluent society this is considered OK but not beyond it. Village panchayats take recourse of punishing such types of couples and the punishment can be severe if a dalit boy and an upper caste girl are involved. The mildest punishment in such cases is throwing them out of the village. Many-a-times they are given capital punishment by their own family members. This is the hard reality. Even in the metros and cities, the society does apply brakes. Family too objects to such matters. In India, the society prohibits cohabition without marriage.

Marriage is the core institution of our family life. It also guarantees continuity of our societal regeneration. One should not under-estimate the value-system weaved around the institution of marriage. Almost all families seek bride or groom with utmost precaution. They seek the partners of their wards from their own sub-caste, if that is not possible, then caste and the caste group. The economic status is also considered and it weighs heavily. The concept of one marriage in one life has been internalised in the Indian way of life. In this atmosphere living together without marriage is incomprehensible. Even in metros, the love marriages and the inter-caste marriages are rare. Losing virginity before marriage is unthinkable and in live-in relationship the first thing a couple thinks of is 'good bye to chastity'.

The whole concept is glued with the concept of purity of woman and the trust of the man. It is generally referred by the man and wife as a relationship for seven lives. Symbolising this the custom of saat-phere is prevalent. It is unthinkable in the society to marry an unchaste woman accepting widow marriage, second marriage or other marriages like this arising out of unseen circumstances.

Now Maharashtra is trying to lead the country to accelerate the trend of living together without marriage. This threatens the very foundation of Indian culture. It may destroy trust of the families, the trust between husband and wife, children, parents and grand parents. If the trust is lost nothing remains. This particular system of 'live-in relationship' destroys, to a very great extent, the importance of motherhood. The society in India worships "mother". The way a mother loves and showers affection on the child at her cost, the way the father toils for the good education of his wards, it is extremely important for Indian social life. In turn the family system is an insurance for all members whether one earns anything tangible or not.

In our family system there are occasions when husband is worshipped once in a year. Similar is the case for wife, daughter, brother -- practically all relationships. From times immemorial we have been strengthening and nurturing family system on continual basis. That is why even in the days of atomised family strength, the family system has not lost its sheen. Even the relationship within the clan is a source of unity.

We often see NRI families coming to India seeking brides and grooms for their sons and daughters. For they do not find trustworthiness in their own community -people bred and brought up in Western culture. By 'live-in relationship' the concept of a chaste girl evaporates and trust also goes. And if trust goes, what is left to preserve? That is why decreasing trust level in the society is becoming matter of concern. It leads to all round deterioration in the quality of life, be it social behaviour, honesty and integrity.

Mother and the motherland deserve much more respect. But when Maharashtra Government is out to debase motherhood and chastity ceremoniously by legislation it is time to fight it and vote it out.

Courtesy: www.dailypioneer.com, October 19, 2008